“Why do you say ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘yes sir’ to us?” The student looked puzzled as she asked me the question. Several interested faces turned toward me, curiosity knitting their brows. I smiled warmly and answered, “I do that to show you respect, just like you show me respect. I can’t expect you to show me genuine respect if I don’t treat you respectfully in return.” The students considered the comment for a moment, and then nodded in agreement.
It all begins the first day of school. I teach my students to answer questions by standing up, addressing me (or whoever is teaching) by name, and giving their answer in a complete sentence. This helps build a respectful atmosphere in the classroom. It also gets students in the habit of speaking in complete sentences, which then transfers (hopefully) into writing in complete sentences. Everyone benefits.
I want to point out that I do not demand that students stand, nor do I belittle those who forget. If students are forgetting to answer properly, I simply wait for one to remember and then send that student to the ‘treasure chest’. (Sometimes I’ll even send the next few to the pencil jar for good measure.) There are those who are always looking for a way to the treasure chest… and they NEVER forget. Once that first student remembers, the rest will follow suit without being told. After a few weeks, students rarely forget.
I do realize there are teachers who demand respect from their students without showing respect in return. However, I don’t believe we can create a safe and secure learning environment without an atmosphere of mutual respect. I want my students to feel secure enough to take chances, make guesses, and yes… even make mistakes. Meaningful learning cannot take place if students are afraid of the teacher!
Now my students are beginning to say, “Yes ma’am” and “No ma’am” to me. I didn’t ask them to do that. I simply modeled the behavior. Since kids tend to do what we do rather than what we say, doesn’t it make sense to show your students respect as well? Wouldn’t you rather a student ask you, “Why do you say ‘yes ma’am’ to me?” instead of, “Why are you so mean?” Show your students respect if you would like genuine respect in return. Your classroom will be a better place!
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Note: Another site has been regularly plagiarizing my blog. If you see this post on a website other than http://www.fortheloveofteaching.net, please comment to let me know.